Cigarettes = Evil

I’d hate to admit it but I am a smoker. I started smoking around the age of 15, my best friends did it so I did it to. One friend would have her dad buy her cigarettes, and the other, her sister. It was always on and off, I would smoke for a few months and then I wouldn’t. From 16 to 19 I didn’t, then at 20 I started up again and it has been solid since. People have always said you need to quit, you should stop it is not good for you. I would just blow it off. I wish now that I would have listened to them, but I did not. It sucks not being able to get through eight hours without a cigarette. I am currently 22 and recently decided that I want to quit, they don’t do any health benefit for me just destroy my body.

My grandfather has COPD and is on oxygen 24/7, along with multiple health problems. My boyfriend recently got diagnosed with emphysema stage one, he doesn’t need oxygen but runs out a breath easily. He has multiple health problems as well. I finally saw what they go through and I thought I don’t want to be like this. That is when it hit me that I need to quit.

Last Saturday I bought an electronic cigarette hoping I would quit. I only had five cigarettes Saturday through Tuesday, I've been using the electronic for cravings instead. Last night my boyfriend’s electronic broke, so I told him to use mine and I could wait till I got home to smoke, I would be okay. Well, I was wrong. I just went to the gas station and bought me a pack just because I could not stay focused. What happened? I was so positive and determined. I need suppor, people telling me, you can do,  you made it two hours so far, just keep positive.

I feel horrible that I cracked. I am the one trying to get my boyfriend to quit and begged him to, he finally agreed and I went out and night some, I kinda feel like a hypocrite. Also, I am probably one of the worst smokers ever. I burn myself, burn holes in a lot of stuff, get ashes all over my car, hate the smell of cigarettes on my hair, skin and cloths and the taste. But why is it so hard? What makes this horrible thing I hate something I need to get through my day?

If you just started or debating to smoke, don’t you will regret it like I am now.